Bill Clinton claims "maximum pwn-age" over Obama

DALLAS, TX - Bill Clinton, stumping for his wife in Texas, named himself the master of "pwnage" today.

In a 23 minute speech, Mr. Clinton spent 19 minutes pwn-ing Obama. "Barak Hussein Obama is a wanabe. PWNED!" He blurted. Other notable quotes from the speech included, "I eat chumps like Barak for brunch. Yo, Obama, you can talk the talk, but you can't walk the walk. How does it feel to be pwned yet again by an ex-president?", and "Obama? OBAMA? Are you freakin' kidding me? I say NOBama. I say YOBama, We don't want YOBama in the White House, Barak! I say, you should change your name to PWNED-Bama!". The crowd went wild, which further fuled Bill Clinton's tirade: "Hey, Barak, mano-y-mano here, I'm tellin' ya, give it up while you still can. You don't stand a chance against the great Hillary machine. She pwns guys like you for brunch every morning, noon, and afternoon!" Clinton continued, "He talks about change? He talks about hope? Listen, buddy, I invented hope. I still believe in a town called change, punk! PWNED again, B. Hussein!".

Obama supporters finally got a word-in edgewise after that comment. One man, carrying a sign that read "OBAMA = ROCKS" shouted at Mr. Clinton, "I'll PWN you, Billy-boy! I don't give a rat's ass that your wife used to be president! You ain't got crap on Obama, pally!" Mr. Clinton was quick to retort, "Hey, Obama man, PWND, PWND, PWND, PWND, PWND and PWND! How's it feel? That's what I thought!"

As he was exiting the stage after the speech, Mr. Clinton was overheard saying that he should probably look up 'pwned' in the urban dictionary to make sure he's using it in the proper context. Sycophants agreed.

Sir Charles Barkley calls the Ghostbusters "Fake Atheletes"

GREENBOW, AL - Appearing on the CNNBC hit show "Wolf Blitzer's 3-Hour News Half-Hour", Sir Charles Barkley referred to the Ghostbusters as "Fake Atheletes".

"I mean, these guys, they strap vaccuum cleaners to their backs and shoot sparky streams at slimer. There is no spring training, there is no boot camp. They call themselves atheletes. I call them fake atheletes. I say they are the biggest hypocrites out there. All up in my personal business with their spectre traps, their ecto-plasmic containment units, their crazy hair and one-liners. Give me a damn break, Wolf!"

Pro-Ghostbuster pundit Remy Lebeau was quick to point out that Barkley was turned down by the Ghostbusters when he applied to be their Crossing The Streams Chief Preventative Officer, or C.T.S.C.P.O, back in 1988. According to Lebeau, "(Barkley)... would call them every day for weeks, claiming that they were making a big mistake not taking him onto their team. It got so bad, the Phoenix Suns actually banned him from using the locker room phone for 10 days. The guy obviously is still bitter."

Wolfy, in the interest of full disclosure, squealed gleefully that he loves the Ghostbusters and is their self-described "biggest fan ever".

McCain, Obama Sue Huckabee in Arkansas

BIG ROCK, AR - John McCain and Barak Obama appeared in court today to present their opening statements in a lawsuit against Mike Huckabee.

The unlikely pair are suing Huckabee for "Being a nerd, a chump, a party pooper, and above all, a Huckster."

The jury was reported as looking bored and constipated. A spokesperson for the McCain/Obama team confirmed that after the Huckster has been taken care of, they have their sights set on HillBillary.

Mike Huckabee could not be reached for comment. At the time of this report, he was selling shirtless photos of himself down in Kokomo, where we get there fast and then we take it slow.

Manjit: A-Grade to the core

चेल्सा क्लिंटन गेट्स न्यू "इंक", एन्दोर्सेस ओबामा

DECATUR, IL - In a shocking move on Valentines Day, Chelsea Clinton appeared, fresh from a new tattoo courtesy of Big Benny's Tattoo Parlor, and declared her support of Barack Obama for President. She was reported to have said, "Obama understands women; Obama understands ME!". The Hillary Clinton campaign could not be reached for a comment.

Chelsea Clinton LOVES this blog! (And she was not pimped out by her mother to say that, either!)

Chelsea, thank you for your continued support of USER=ID10T. Wear your free shirt with pride, Chels. You earned it! Clinobamomainabee in '08!

ID10T Warning

Chavez, Castro to star alongside each other in "Bosom Buddies" remake

HOLLYWOOD, CA - ABC Has penned a deal with Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro to star side-by-side in a new series based on the 80's hit Bosom Buddies. Chavez, an outspoken Tom Hanks fan, was grinning from ear to ear during the press conference this afternoon. "I think cross-dressing buddy comedies are what made American television great. Fidel and I want to bring that genre back." exclaimed Chavez.

Castro was not at the press conference, but his agent read a written statement that Castro had prepared. "I like wearing dresses. You all know that by now. I never cared much for cigars, to be honest. Hugo likes them more than I," The statement read.

After ordering all cameras to be turned off, Chanvez's agent disclosed that the Venezualean President demanded the series be picked up, otherwise no more oil would flow to America from his home nation.

ABC Spokesman Sal Throckmorton declined to comment on rumors of a possible movie deal starring (Great Leader) Kim Jong Il. Throckmorton would only confirm that ABC does not comment on movies that are expected to garner NC-17 ratings until the funding has been finalized. Onlookers gasped and hoo-hawed.

Roy Scheider, the man James Woods always wanted to be

Rest in Peace, Roy.


Meanwhile, Mr. Woods, don't even think about trying to muscle in and do a new sequel to "Jaws".

do it eMo this Valentines Day... when you care enough to cut the very best

Hop on over to eMoBay for all of your Valentines Day shopping this year! Great deals on Hot Topic returns and overstock, razorblade suitcases, tweed jackets, plaid sweaters, blackpurplered hair dye (die), modified catholic schoolgirl uniforms, horn-rimmed glasses, leather pants, and reverse mullet wigs. eMoBay also carries a wide selection of new and used cds from your favorite artists: My Chemical Romance, 30 Seconds to Mars, Fallout Boy, and that one band that sounds exactly like fallout boy! eMoBay CEO J'onn D'onno predicts that you will stay on the site for at least 30 seconds before you resort to cutting yourself, because they have been working hard to make the site more sticky! That's an internet buzzword! Sticky! I wish my site was as sticky as eMoBay! The end!

Hillary Rodham Clinton awarded Nobel Prize for Crying

Onlookers danced and sang.

New Virus Threat Alert

WATCH OUT FOR THE BARAKHUSSEINOBAMA.DORK VIRUS! It will crash yer puter and make yer console brake and your printor will not be doing the drawring.

McCain announces running mate for 2008: Goodbar!

February 7, 2008
In a surprise move today at the CPAC party in Washington D.C., John McCain responded to Mitt Romney's defeat by announcing his VP running mate: Mr. Goodbar.

"Goodbar and I have been friends since I was 6 years old. We didn't always see eye to eye on every issue, but everyone agrees that we are both nutty." McCain blurted.

Conservatives responded by nodding off, coughing awkwardly, and pacing the floor.
When Mr. Goodbar took the stand, he appeared to be overcome with emotion, and he did not comment.




Before leaving the stage, McCain said to the conservacrowd, "My friends, let me give you some straight talk. I won't do anything you guys want. Sometimes %#!& happens. "

2008 Election.. Meet the Candidates.. Super Tuesday...

Johnny mcCocaine, over-the-hillary plimpoton, block-head osamba, trike muckitymuckabee, ... and mitt.

Shopping Carts In the Air Tonite ~ Music Video

Shopping Cart Films. It's worth it.